Love for the Long-haul

The ability to love is a precious gift.  The people you choose to share that gift with is up to each individual.  Sometimes, you pick the wrong person and love bites you on the ass but it also provides lessons to help you make better choices in the future.  One major problem with love is that some people never learn.  They won’t listen to the messages their heart keeps trying to pass along and just continue to give their love to undeserving people.  They allow other feelings, like passion or attraction, to take on the lead match-making role.   Let me say right now that there is nothing wrong with being attracted to or feeling passionate about someone, both are important for any successful relationship.  Those feelings however, should not be the priority during the search for the special person you want to be a permanent part of your life.  Trust me, your genitals will lead you astray!

When it happens for real, when you listen to your heart and learn from your past, there will be no doubt about what you feel.  And that feeling, the one that makes your heart beat a little faster and naughty thoughts flicker to life in the back of your mind, is what changes ‘mine’ to ‘ours’.  That same feeling is what helps you not kill them 20 years later when you have one of those days.  Every woman knows the day I’m talking about; when a single look can put flames in your eyes as you growl “go away”.  That love is kind of like the moon, waxing and waning, sometimes totally out of sight, but always in the background ready to shine.

Love can be hard.  Giving up part of who you are so you can weave someone else into your life can seem impossible at times, but when it’s right all the harsh and painful moments bring you closer as a couple, keeping you both safe and warm in each others arms.

My advise for long term love:

1.  Keep your mind open to all the possibilities because love can be found in the strangest places.

2.  Listen to your heart – even if it’s not pleasant, it’s always important.

3.  Hold on to that “pitty-pat” feeling.  Draw from it during the times of conflict and difficulty.  It will help you hang on until it passes.  And it will if you face it together.

4.  Face it together.  Turn to them for support, even if what’s wrong is all their fault, that connection will give you the strength to put up with the dumb stuff.

5.  Give as good as you get.  When you are given love, return it times 10.  When you are given a load of crap, throw it at their head.

6.  Don’t be afraid to fight.  Sometimes you can resolve problems if you fight fair and if not, pissed off sex can be so hot!

Good Luck!DSC_1019

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